time for my ramble! you can call me aiai, aichi, or just plain ai. i'm a college student, trying to learn abt tech, design, fashion, baking/cooking, n so much other assorted stuff! i am not very good with socializing; i struggle to socialize due to being agoraphobic (working towards recovery!) but am always trying my best!

when it comes to describing myself, i either spam like 400 paragraphs within 2 minutes or push 3 sentences and disappear for 80 years. usually i just focus on one trait i have and make it my personality towards everyone i'm interacting with, but this is the internet, and i should be a lil more open. i was once told that i am the embodiment of the "duality of man", which i still dunno if that's a compliment or not. i grew up really into debate and politics, and it's propelled me towards what i want to do with life, in terms of career. but it also hindered me socially, and led to a lot more issues with those i am around. i'm very passionate and intense, and some feel a bit intimidated by the conviction in which i speak with, but rest assured i just want to impress others with the things i've learned; i'm not that scary!

i think a lot of people value honesty or kindness or trustworthiness over everything, but i value diplomacy above everything. i don't want to be around people that say things and throw caution to the wind. i also don't want to be friends with people that prioritize other's feelings before their needs. a healthy mix of both is always best, for most things in life. one of the things i hate most is being perceived incorrectly, so i try my best to embody stereotypes in order for people to better understand me, and then befriend me. i hate enigmas, and i hate being seen as one. because of this, i recognize people can find me quite scary once i learn that someone views me in a way differently than how i make myself appear. i am extremely cautious and reserved these days, as a result of my agoraphobia. if i feel scared, i tend to shut my eyes and freeze-- you won't find me surviving a horror movie anytime soon. i do my best to adapt to others wants and needs, but i'm also working on becoming more centered and recognizing that i have wants and needs too! i tend to type oddly (Capitalizing things because it Adds Emphasis, and it's usually for my own amusement; i struggle to communicate or at least deliver jokes successfully, so i use this as a means to translate my words a bit more.

anyway, in the most tldr fashion possible, i'd chalk myself up to be a decently well-rounded, really (painfully) shy person, who has a nostalgic pull towards damn near everything. i hope that describes me well enough. i will fight the urge to delete all of this . .

a really important detail about myself is that i am mentally ill, and as a result, i do not know 100% how to communicate with others in a way that is easily translated amongst one another. (imagine a more depressing version of "i'm not like other girls") i hate people that self diagnose with disorders, and i try my best to work with my healthcare team to grow and someday Be Like Other Girls. i hope to continue working on myself, but i also love working with others, as i've volunteered w the same mental health advocacy groups for about 8 years straight now!

in terms of web design/design overall, i've only been seriously learning how to do anything in the last 2 years, but i used HTMLCSS constantly to format my tumblr blogs and spacehey profiles as well! i make carrds professionally, but pausing on comms rn because they are irritating as hell. this is my first neocities, so i'm taking a big leap of faith but hoping it pays off! i love web design, and i hope at some point i'll be good enough to form lots and lots of stuff for a portfolio, and maybe tinker with 3d illustration/product design and something involving AI . . ?

to end things on a less rambly note, here are some really embarassing facts abt me so they are kinda icebreakers!

in the 4th grade i convinced my friend i was princess of the werewolves, and she confessed that she was of royal vampire blood. we howled and drank "blood". roleplays were so intense that I got any kind of animal roleplaying game banned from my 3rd grade class.

i used to own a shrek dvd + ost. in the event of a robbery, i had both stashed in my underwear drawer, as they were my most prized possessions.

i also watched the aforementioned shrek over 50 times in a week. for 10 years.

i have seen yeat perform live 8 times.

in the 1st grade i was a firm believer that michael jackson was my father, and told my classmates such.

i spend about 86-118hr every week on my phone. that's about 3 and a half to almost 5 days straight on my phone.

i eat mustard sandwiches, and they are delicious.

i cannot physically pronounce "mussle". at all.

more will be added when i feel particularly self-deprecating.

this is a semi-exhaustive list & i may not talk about the majority of these things.
video games: pokemon, far cry 4-6,, far cry primal, mario kart, scribblenauts, cyberpunk 2077, gta 5, rdr2, mortal kombat, roblox, cooking mama, taiko no tatsujin, sumikko gurashi farm, fran bow, little misfortune, animal crossing new leaf + new horizons, the sims 4, tomodachi Life + miitopia, yo-kai watch, nintendogs
animanga: eden of the east, kakuriyo, perfect blue, given, blue spring ride, ghibli movies overall, flying witch, darwins game, citrus, nana, cardcaptor sakura, puella magi madoka magica, anohana, bananya, blend-s, a certain magical index, 22/7, the case files of jeweler richard, oddtaxi, rilakkuma and kaoru, nobunaga concerto, oda cinnamon nobunaga, fire force, black clover, yamishibai, osomatsu san, precure, a lull in the sea, hanasaku iroha, convenience store boy friends
tv shows: american horror story, abbott elementary, a black lady sketch show, sharp objects, you, bad girls club, why women kill, inside job, adventure time, the facts of life, practically every 2000s & early 2010s disney, cartoon network, and nickelodeon show
Music: the pillows, deftones, mitski, childish gambino, tame impala, lamb, herb alpert, mass of the fermenting dregs, bladee, ecco2k, thaiboy digital, sewerslvt, celia cruz, joão gilberto, amy winehouse, corinne bailey rae, natalia lafourcade, tyler the creator, cults, ethel cain, yeat, pastel ghost, foo fighters, grimes, sleeping w sirens, pierce the veil, asking alexandria, city morgue, zillakami, fleetwood mac, sza, yo la tengo, rina sawayama, aoa, aoba ichiko, paramore, mon laferte, roar, ryusenkei, minuano, liana flores, kikuchi momoko, laufey, future, pequeno cidadão, kendrick lamar, tanuki, ghost, dean
Hobbies:
Misc:

color	pink, lavender, & cerulean
food	grilled salmon, cheeseburgers, cheese pizza
drink	nesquik, mcdonalds sprite, yakult, orange gatorade
season	spring
tv show	american horror story
video game	far cry primal
animal	three toed sloths, shoebill storks, spotted hyenas, okapi, and my dog
candy	king sized twix, cookies n creme hersheys
ice cream flavor	(baskin robbins) pralines n cream, (ben&jerrys) anything w brownie bits, (anywhere else) vanilla

dogs

spotted hyenas

animals in general tbh (honorable mentions to shoebill storks, okapi, & three toed sloths)

linguistics

epidemeology & genealogy

writing. esp poetry

drawing even though it makes me want to die sometimes

ballet

warm food on a cold day

cooking games

movies

fuzzy socks

fashion

my friends & making new ones

soft blankets

Wii & DS era nintendo

plushies

baking & cooking

lore iceberg videos

ridiculous teen dramas

harps & guzhengs

early early morning (like 4-6 AM)

tennis

walking in nature

candy & chocolate

organizing things

the beach

being obscure & creepy

DISLIKES

anyone on my hatelist

pickles

men

libertarians

fnaf fans

annoying people

the "i-i-i-i have n-no friends..." people

dangangronpa lovers

mental illness twitter spaces

coffee with bits in it

math

velvet & suede

when food touches other food

people who hate animals & babies

pastel pink angelcore carrd bitches

europeans

natural disasters

existential dread

space

+ more! I have too many favorite characters to list them all so I tried to stick to my main interests here.

WIP this is gonna be a manifesto type thing

you are aqua #00FFFF

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.

I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?